I’m Not a Bad Mom…But More Gratitude Please

I am not a bad mom, but we need to work on this gratitude thing

There are days when I feel like I have a giant “annoy mom button” and pushing it is the most tempting thing in the world. My kids (ages 7, 5 and 4 months – but this is about the 7 and 5-year-old), like to tease each other and tattle on each other and do the things that siblings who are 2 1/2 years apart like to do. The problem is, they drag me into the mix! When they are finished annoying each other, they see a new, fresh target and set their sights on easing their boredom by asking me for new things or asking to do something new.

Always in a whiny voice.

Whining is one thing, it’s right up there on the scale of annoying. But when they are ungrateful and are whining about it. Enter most annoying button. It’s really a bad combination. Generally speaking, my kids are good kids. Grateful, polite {for the most part} and happy. But there are some days where nothing I have done for them seems good enough. They just want more… more… more… more. They ask for things while we are in the middle of doing something fun for them.

Do not push the annoy mom button
Because kids can’t help it.

It was a struggle to keep my patience all week. But one day was especially bad. So bad that I sobbed and sobbed horribly and loudly. {Disclaimer: I am not a crier}

Instead of lashing out, I wrote everything I was feeling down.

Its days like today that I have to tell myself that I am a good mom despite other reinforcement. The baby woke this morning at 5:30. A full hour before the normal time I get up. Instead of falling back asleep after feeding him, I decided to go make breakfast for Corbin (my 7-year-old). There are only a few more days of school and it has been hard to be motivated and get his lunch ready. {In fact, he has been preparing his lunch everyday for the past several weeks}

Well, since I was up this morning, I decided to pack his lunch before anyone was up. I did so and cut an apple like normal for him to take. Instead of putting half the apple back in the fridge for the next day, I decided to cut up the rest and give it to Zoie (my 5-year-old) and Corbin to eat with their breakfast. I left the kitchen and was in another room. I heard Corbin get up and I heard him squeal with displeasure and start crying.  He wasn’t hurt, so I gave it a minute and I asked him what was wrong. He didn’t want to tell me.

Finally, he told me that he wanted cereal and not an apple. The sheer ingratitude of this complaint hit me. My heart broke, then I was angry. But I was so incredibly hurt that the hurt took over the anger. I wanted to take his whole lunch and just throw it away…in fact, I did pick it up to do so. But I started to sob. Deeply. I had thought that since I was up early, I would get everyone up and take them to Chick-Fil-A for breakfast as a good way to celebrate the end of the school year “end of the school year celebration”.

I know I am not a bad mom – but we need to work on this gratitude thing.

Instead of a happy, lovely morning as I had envisioned (as I always do when I do something nice for my family) it turned into a broken-hearted hailstorm of regret and tears. Both his and mine. My husband interfered and the boy came out and apologized to me.

I wanted to pout so bad. But instead, I went and sat down to breakfast with him. But my heart was still broken.

I have since been focusing more on teaching them gratitude. It comes with hard lessons but I am ok with that.

I wrote this at the bottom of my journaling for that day. As a reminder of what I needed to work on, but more than that – as a reminder that I am not a bad mom.

 

I am not a bad mom, but we need to work on this gratitude thing
Reminder that I am not a bad mom, and what we need to work on.

2 thoughts on “I’m Not a Bad Mom…But More Gratitude Please”

  1. You really hit the nail on the head with this one and this morning was just such a morning for me. We’ll have to compare notes on these ‘Teaching them gratitude’ lessons soon 😀

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